don't talk about fight club

Ways in which I have today claimed to injure my neck/shoulder:

1. Well, I was cage-fighting this bear, you see...
2. It must have been when I punched out that ninja cyborg...
3. I was fleeing a mafia hit squad, misjudged a jump, and when I plummeted twenty feet over a waterfall...
4. My evil parallel-universe doppelganger is trying to gain control of a secret government weapon to which only I know the code, and while I was escaping from the assassins she sent...
5. The first rule of Fight Club...


The ugly truth:

This morning, I turned my head too suddenly, and there was an ominous and rather juicy-sounding crunch. Now I cannot look right, tilt my head beyond a left-hand lean, shrug my right shoulder, or raise my right arm above shoulder height.


This post is brought to you:

at a 45 degree angle, and on an awful lot of painkillers.


>:|