as the beautiful south said

Dear 2009,

you were not quite as unremittingly awful as 2008, but you did your best. Nice try. Mostly you were a long stretch of grey, a grim followup to a year of grit and water and missed chances, and you certainly had a lot to throw at us.

You gave us some okay times amongst the crap, but in the end, you sealed the deal with blisters and coffins. You took people you had no right to take, and that's something for which I cannot forgive you. He should be here.

It's been a blast, but boy, I'm glad you're over.

So long and farewell,
Rob

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Dear "the noughties",

please go away and die under a rock, now. You are my least favourite decade, which, considering I can't remember the eighties and was not yet an adolescent during the nineties, is saying a lot.

We have had quite enough of you.

Go away and don't come back,
Rob

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Dear 2010,

hey, we're in the future now!

Where's my damn hovercar?

Expectantly,
Rob